I would be a gambler.

Tina gambles. She particularly likes Blackjack. Her poker skills amaze even the most skeptical of men.

I once watched a lifetime movie where a woman was addicting to gambling and lost all her grocery money in a slot machine. I think her big problem was that there was a slot machine in a grocery store, conveniently next to the wine. Who puts a slot machine in a grocery store?

I don't gamble. I'm not that brave. But if I did, my life would be so cool. I would be able to dish out amazing advice to people, such as this;

You've got to know when to hold them. Know when to fold them. Know when to walk away. Know when to run. You never count your money when you're sitting at the table. There'll be time enough for counting when the dealing's done.

Basically I want to gamble so I can have a Kenny Rogers song written about me.

The song is perfect relationship advice. You've got to know when to keep them. Know when to weed out the losers in the beginning. Know when you can be friends. Know when they're crazy, and quickly plan the escape. Don't count on anything working out how you planned. Most men will fuck everything up regardless.

No wonder I suck at relationships. I can't play poker.